What does play have to do with Sexuality? It is the foundation of all sexuality! Sexuality is just adult play. After 12 years of teaching kids I noticed that when they felt safe and secure in themselves, they had no fear of ‘risking’. When they risked, they would play, laugh and explore with abandon. Working with my sexual wellness coaching clients I started to notice that one of the root sexual problems was they did not feel safe and therefore they could not enjoy sex. Read more…. Many clients had similar insecurities, including negative body image, low self-esteem, performance anxieties and unhappiness. One of the best ways to make sex safe is to help people to feel safe by relearning to play and risk. So let’s take a moment to think about :
- When was the last time you where silly or giggled without drugs or alcohol?
- Do you smile and had fun while you are sexually engaged? Or is sex serious business?
- Can you remember the last time you laughed and giggled during a sexual experience with your partner … not at your partner?
Repeat after me: Sex is fun! Sex is Safe! Pleasure is my Friend! People often find sexual experiences stressful for of a number of reasons: past experiences around sexual trauma, childhood sexual abuse, childhood sexual interference or bad sexual experiences in the past. People may feel as though they are judging themselves and/or that they are being judged for their performance, skills, and form. With that kind of pressure there is not much room for pleasure, fun and feeling relaxed! The more you can laugh and be silly with your lover, the more comfortable, relaxed and safe you feel with them. The secret to kick ass sex life is risking!!!!! The benefits are:
- More enjoyable sex
- Building self esteem
- Improved communication skills
- And… did I mention Better Orgasmic Pleasure!!
Here is one of the many Sexual Wellness Coaching reclaiming tools that Succulent Living uses
The Playful Lover Exercise: Remember SEX IS FUN!!!!
- You are both hot and horny ready to have sex!!!
- Ask your lover if they want to do a playful lover exercise with you?
- Stand in front of one another naked or clothed
- Stick out your tongues
- Make a crazy face at one another
- On the count of three make a crazy sound together (my favourite is the wild turkey sound it helps to loosen your tongue excellent for some epic lickey lickey!)
- Laugh and giggle
- Now you have both risked being silly together you are now FREE to express your orgasmic pleasure without stress or judgement. It’s time to let your wild silly orgasmic creature out!!
You are given permission to play, laugh, risk and express happiness!